Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Oh wait I forgot I had a blog

Hi y'all,

Thanks for your support with the India shot debacle.  I wish I could say all is well, and back to normal but she is getting molars and not handling it well.  Calla also is coincidentally getting her back molars at the same time.  WTF???  I had these two 4 years apart on purpose, so things like this wouldn't happen, and also so I wouldn't have to own a double stroller. 

Anyhoo, I am back here with stories to tell and pictures to show you.  Except for today, because I don't have the energy to download the phone and Dave has the camera at work.  Nothing much to show except a couple random Easter pics. anyway.  Just pretend the girls were cute and dressed up and hunted eggs in the living room in their jammies before we went to church and had lunch with his family.  Nuf said.  With chickens who lay eggs anywhere they please if we don't lock their punk asses up, it is pretty much an Easter egg hunt on a daily basis 365.  So it isn't as exciting around here as it may be for some. 

Have you ever had one of those days where everything you said came out of your mouth wrong?  That was me today, and the hole I kept digging myself into just kept getting deeper and deeper until it wanted to swallow me whole.  Case in point.  Lets talk Target talk.  In fact we should do that more often.  As most of you know I am a Target junkie.  I even have friends who I only run into in Target, so I know I am not alone. 

Tarjey Boutique as I like to refer to it,  has this wonderful line right now called Calypso, that is patterned off the huge designer itself.  Super cute tropical clothes and various knick knacks like elephant tea pots that have no business being in my home in CO.  You can all rest assured I did not buy an elephant tea pot.  Not sure how I would have justified we needed that to Dave anyway.  "Honey I know we are on a budget, but I am willing to give up deodorant and shaving cream so we can buy the elephant tea pot.  I know it doesn't match the decor of our farmhouse, but it was so cute. "  Yeah.....right....... 

I did however pick up a super fun dip dyed crinkly hippy skirt to wear if the wind ever decides to stop blowing 80 mph.  I should have taken a clue, that if the shirt was hung on a rack so high I had to reach over my head to get down, chances are it is going to be way too freakin long for my short ass.   I however was blinded by the pretty colors, and satched up the med size and brought it home.  Upon trying it on I looked ridiculous.  It was long enough to be a maxi dress if I pulled it over my lack there of boobs.  I would have had to roll the waist 4 times to make it into a skirt.  So back to Target it shall go. 

 I know I have lost some of you by now, and you are all wondering what a skirt has to do with me shoving my foot in my mouth.  Well, I'm fixin to tell you.  Just hold your panties. 

After I dropped off the girls at school this am, I stopped by Target to return the skirt and pick up some prescriptions.  At our Super Target we have a little person who works the return counter.  She has a stool to stand on to reach the register and it makes her taller then me.  So after walking up to the counter and handing the skirt to her to return, she asked if there was anything wrong with it?  "I replied, no it was just too long, because I am too short."  Um....yes it was early and my filter wasn't quite functioning in my brain yet.  Remember I am up at all Godly hours of the night with a teething baby.  But she doesn't really know that.  So I proceed to try and dig myself out by saying how cute it was but it wasn't the right type of material to try and hem, and how I have to hem most things because my legs are so short.   By this point she is staring at me watching me make an ass out of myself trying to convince her how short I am to make it seem like I am relating to how short she is.  Thank God I didn't follow up by saying "you know how that goes right?"  I quickly signed the credit card screen and I was outta there.

My guess is this is why they put Starbucks in these places.  So people can fuel up on some liquid crack before having semi intelligent conversations with each other.  One of these days I will learn it is just best to answer with yes or no only.  And for those of you wondering why I didn't try on the skirt before I left Target.  Have you ever tried on clothes with two kids aged 5 and 1?  I only do this if I am in Denver or  somewhere I can't return the item easily if it doesn't fit.  Let me paint a scenario for your reading pleasure.  Let's assume I don't have a stroller to try and shove into the handicapped stall and we all fit into a normal size dressing room.  One kid wants to look at and shake her butt from all the different angles in the three way mirror while wearing your sunglasses and pretending she is Hannah Montana.  She will quickly tire of this and whines about playing a game on your phone or needs it so she can pretend to call her agent or how about Daddy so she can tell him we are trying on clothes instead of on our way home.  Hello....not a good idea.  The other kid will smear her sticky hands all over and give kisses to the baby in the mirror which may or may not be herself.  After she is done she will then proceed to dump the entire contents of my purse out on the ground, empty all of the sticks out of a pack of gum, eat some Chapstick, put my bra on her head, and attempt to crawl under the partition to the dressing room next to us where a naked grumpy old lady is sure to reside.  This will take approx. a 1/2 hr just to try on one shirt.  Good times.  Anyone up for a round of bathing suit shopping this season?

Off to dose up the kid with some more Advil, so we can all have some peace. 



  1. Love it. I think I ate chapstick up until I was 5 or there is hope :)
    Hugs to you guys...