Tuesday, May 17, 2011

It's Target Tuesday

No I am not announcing the new ad for Target for the week.  I am not that much of a crack head, nor am I sitting here stalking ads and clipping coupons for Target like those crazy extreme coupon ladies on TLC who have like 100 boxes of Alka Seltzer, and Colgate hanging out in the garage because the coupon helped get them 30 free boxes of frozen jalapeno poppers for the couch potato husband.  I have another Target adventure and I thought it would sound good to put it on Tuesday.  And as Calla would say, "because Target and Tuesday both start with the letter T." 

So the other day the girls and I ventured to Super Target because Calla was complaining that she needed some new underwear because she was getting "punket wedgies."  (Translation - wedgies in the front not the back.)  So I looked at her undies and noticed the were getting a wee bit small and figured she did need some new ones before she grew anymore and they start to look like a thong on her.  Because Lord knows the 5 yr doesn't need a thong, unless she plans on hanging out with the 8 yr old who gets Botox and self tans, then it would be ok.

As we got close to the entrance we were approached by 3 innocent wholesome looking 11 yr old girls with clipboards.  They stopped us and asked if they could ask me a couple of questions for a school project they were doing.  I said sure what the hell and they giggled.  The only reason I said yes was because their parents were sitting on a nearby bench chatting and it was obvious they were homeschooled and trying to get experience polling people.  Not to mention they were super shy and it took a lot of courage for them to come up and ask in the first place.  Unlike the Greenpeace people who pretty much accost you downtown while you are waiting to cross the street.  I asked what they were asking questions about and they said "Vandalism."  Ok.........

Question # 1 What is your religion? 
Me: "Um, Catholic by birth."  Now I am wondering to myself what does that have to do with tagging "for a good time call Buffy" on the bathroom door at the local Burger Shack.  Are they Amish and wondering if other religions have issues if Billy Bob sneaks onto the overpass at I-25 and writes that he loves Susie in spray paint at 2 am for the morning commuters to see?  

Question # 2 How often do I read the New Testament?
What......."Ok, Excuse me girls what does this have to do with Vandalism exactly? " More giggling.  Them: "Not Vandalism.....Evangelism. You know like Jesus Christ?"  Yeah, I know Jesus Christ, and I'm even down with GOD like Whoopi sings about in Sister Act, but unless he has changed his name to Jesus Rodriguez and he is into spraying graffiti on the sides of a train car or a public art exhibition in the big city, I am not sure how the two subjects could ever relate. Fits of laughter are now coming from the parents on the bench in background.  Me: "Girls, I thought you wanted to ask me my opinion on Vandalism?"  Them: only giggling no words.  Me: "Ok, well then I'll excuse myself now, and y'all have a nice day."  I got the heck out of Dodge and threw both kids into a cart and scurried off towards the underpanties as fast as I could. 

Too bad Target doesn't sell hearing aids in the Electronics Department.  I think I'm about due. 

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