Party Hard

How To Have an Eclipse Viewing Party:

Step 1:

Assemble your cast of characters.  Frozen rum in a bucket, a welding mask, and mint chocolate chip Blue Bell ice cream.  Proceed to front deck with cast of characters to watch the eclipse.

Step 2:

After convincing your 6 yr. old that it ok to look at the sun if she puts on the welding mask, place it over her head.  Freak her out by telling her if she takes it off she will burn her eyeballs.  She tells you it is cool, but then asks why the Rusty doesn't need a welding mask.  Tell her it is because he is a dipshit dingo dog, and doesn't really care about the sun but is most likely stalking a bunny, or the roofers working across the street.

Step 3:

While waiting for the moon to cover the sun, proceed to drink the rest of the frozen rum and sugar in the bucket, and let your 6 yr. old take awful stupid pictures of you.  Note: She has not been drinking and had no issues when handed the camera.  However she did have plenty of green food dye in the mint chocolate  chip ice cream, and was just as goofy.

Step 4:

Continue to wait for the eclipse to happen, but get sad when the clouds cover the sun.

Party over :(

Manic Monday

Today was well....One of THOSE days.  Let's back up for a minute to this weekend.

Saturday was kind of a gloomy day, so taking a ballet class seemed like a great idea.  Something about bundling up in warmers and taking a Saturday morning Company class is kind of soothing for me.  Call me crazy.  So I threw my hair up into a sweaty band and put on an old nasty leotard, and some nike compression capris and went to class.  When we got there, I got Calla into her class and went to get rolled out, warmed up, and do some sit ups.  I didn't notice our ballet mistress teaching class.  Sign # 1.  I did however notice a nice looking woman who looked like Jane Goodall that was dressed to either teach class or take it.  As more and more people started showing up I also realized how people were dressed. Sign # 2.  Nice pink tights and a leotard.  Doh.  She was a Guest Teacher.  I didn't get the memo but everyone else seemed to be in the loop.  Whoopsie.   Needless to say, I stayed bundled up for a good majority of the class because my leotard was that bad and I didn't have any tights.  Oh well, class was a good workout none the less.  Note to self.  Pack tights and clean out leotards.

Sunday was a great Mother's day.  The girls gave me some nice gifts and then made Orange Danish rolls.  Dave even surprised me with an overnight stay for the two of us at the Ameristar Casino Resort and Spa up in Blackhawk.  Gallery.aspx

Side note:  Children can't go into a Casino :)

We then headed over to Dave's parents for a nice cookout lunch with his parents and brother and sister.

And now we are here and it is Monday.

This morning's drive started off watching a guy shave in his car.  No big deal right?  If you use a battery motorized razor that is.  Yeah, this homie had a full on shaving cream beard and was shaving his face while driving.  Now I can put on makeup and do various other things while driving, but shaving.  WTF?  Does the bowl of foam, water, and hair just sit in the front seat of the car all day?  Yuck.

This afternoon Dave came home early and we all were up in the office talking when all of a sudden he started screaming at the dogs to get out of the garden.  It sounded like the sprinklers were going off.  Umm..... No.  This happened:

Thanks to Boy Wonder and his trusty shovel, he split this nasty sucker into 5 pieces.  The dipshit dingo dog was about 1 ft. away, and his partner in crime was about 3 ft. away before Dave got to them.  I'm sure I will have some fabulous dreams about this coming after me tonight.  The damn thing still gives me the heebie jeebies.  You know they continue to twitch for a bit afterwards too.

Anyway I thought I would leave you with a nicer image in your head then that one.

 
Nighty Night.  Don't let the bed bugs, or snakes bite. :)  

Thursday Tangets

Hi there.  Remember Me?  I am alive and we are starting to come out of our Spring work coma.  Things are still pretty busy but hopefully after hiring more guys, including 3 that live together, we will be peachy keen in a week or 2.  Happenings in these parts:

We finished the deck and path:

The pad next to the door is a Colorado buff snap cut flagstone that came from the Quarry up the mountain in Masonville; as are the large pieces for the steps.  We needed to cover our existing foundation step coming off the house and this was the most creative way to do it.  If you want better detailed pictures, let me know.  My fabulous instagram picture taking has turned into a whole new level of laziness.

The deck is a composite Evergrain deck board.  While I am not a fan of the fake looking stuff, I am also not a fan of sanding and staining cedar every couple of years.  Convenience and my bare feet won out this time.

The pavers are a beat up tumbled brick from General Shale.  Yes Virginia, I bought an already distressed brick.  The house is 100 yrs old, so I can't use a new paver it would look funny.  Oh, just so you know, I also buy blue jeans already distressed too.

The white wicker set I snagged at ReSource.  I am not usually a huge fan of wicker, but it matches the farmhouse.  The set cost me $25 for a table 2 chairs and a couch.  The cushions and paint cost me $140.  Figures.

The dipshit dingo dog is a fan of the couch, and we still need to figure out how to cover and add on the roof.  But in the meantime, please enjoy the large 20 ft. poles coming out of the ground.  

I am also done with this:

It took a lot of work to make Sleeping Beauty happen.  And when I say a lot of work, I don't mean rehearsals.  I only had 2 before heading into tech week with spacings, dress rehearsals, and then 3 shows.  Being the professionals we are, Greg and I rocked it.  Hey now that I notice, where the hell are my flowers?  What actually took a lot of work was to turn Ethel into this:

Everything was fake.  Boobs, hair, eyelashes, nails, jewelry, you name it.  I actually scared small children because it didn't look like me.  In order to match the 5 ft. of fake Miss USA curly hair I had to have help  clipping into the winning pageant queen tiara, I had my dark dirty blond hair highlighted.  I asked for lighter blond.  I was feeling kind of fat and frumpy and my hair stylist and I decided going blonder would make me feel better.

P.S.  If your hair salon serves wine, don't decide on what hair color you want AFTER you consume 2 glasses and receive a scalp massage.  I ended up with Miss Texas blond (only fitting.)  Exhibit A:

Hi there bleached blond, haven't seen you in a long time.  You now match your small child named after a large country instead of the one named after a flower.  Not sure what the hell I am going to do with you in 4 weeks when your roots start showing, but don't feel frumpy anymore.  

After doing all of these Ethel character roles, I am thinking it might be easier to strap on a tutu and some pointe shoes and go that route again.  Might not be pretty, and would require me giving up.... oh I don't know.... my personal life and all delicious food, but man it has to be easier to get ready before a show.

Speaking of the food I am not ready to give up.  These arrived:

Four fine funky frizzled fowl flitting furiously stinking up my mud room.  They had been in the coop de Hilton outside, but it got cold the other night and so into the mud room they went. We have no intentions of eating them, but this time a round we named them after food.  They are more exotic bantam chickens like Birdy.  

So we have in the box..... 1 red and 1 black Frizzle.  Their feathers go backwards like I blew dry their fro the wrong way.  The red is named Cacciatore aka Tori, and the black is Mole'.

The little yellow is a d' Uncle.  Head to toe fuzz including the feet.  She is narcoleptic.  We named her Biscuit.

The blue gray one is a Silkie.  Same deal, head to toe puff of soft feathers.  So far the only food name we could come up with was Nugget.  But I have 2 kids, and chicken nuggets are one of the major food food groups around here.  I kind of like Dumpling or Chow Mein, but want something prettier.

I know it looks like I and turning into a crazy chicken lady.  Kind of like the crazy cat lady that has too many cats.  But in all fairness, I have wanted these breeds for a while, and each time we headed to the County Fair, they had to drag me out of the chicken exhibit because I kept oohing and aching over the damn frizzles.  So I think I am done.  14 is plenty.  Oh, and if you ever need eggs, send me a text.

Got the annuals planted at our maintenance properties:

These are the leftovers.  The flowers are part of the "Cocktail" Collection at Gulleys.  They are all named after alcoholic drinks.  Blue Hawaiian, Bahama Mama, Egg Nog, Blackberry Pilsner, Strawberry Daiquiri etc..  I figured it was only fitting since they are planted next to CSU.  Happy Graduation Students.  Cheers!

That is all I have for now.  Will be back sooner then later.  Oh, and if you commented on some previous posts, and I didn't respond back I apologize.  Blogger ate the responses.

Got any chicken dish ideas?  Recipes welcome too ;)

XOXO.

My life in a nutshell

Last night Dave and I watched a PBS special on Hawaii.  (such fun bags we are)  It brought back memories of our honeymoon, and made us both realize how bad we both need a vacation.

Without our lovely children.  :)

Hawaii is our happy place, and as nice as the new Disney resort on Ohau sounds, it just isn't the same.  So in order to cope, I am making teriyaki chicken with white rice and macaroni salad for dinner, and listening to the Hawaiian channel on Pandora.  BTW if someone wants to come make me a pina colada I am not going to turn them down.  Cause that is the best I'm gonna get in Colorado in April.

Completely unrelated to this are a whole bunch of pictures for your enjoyment.  If I start telling all of the stories of the past month like a Polynesian Grandma, we'll be here till this evening, and then my dishes will continue to wrap around the corner, grow legs, and head out the door.  Not to mention the freakin inbox might just explode.  Enjoy, Aloha and Mahalo!

Pretty sure the clown was responsible.

This is what happens 5 min. after I attempt to organize toys.

Work and Abby Cadabby.  Too bad she can't poof my work done.

Spring in the house.

Got the elastics sewn at least.  No clue where the ribbons went.  Wish I could wear them more.

It snowed.....once.

Landscaping the front yard.

Sisters n Wellies

Swinging.

Front path almost done, deck and stairs next.

So....Ringo Starr walked into Target, and came out as Elton John.

Work.... this time not at my house.  Like duh! 

G is for Garanimals from the 70's.  Wish those pants still fit me.

A new clothesline for Calla.

Can't complain about the view while running up the road.  

The newest member of our family that takes longer to get ready then the two of them combined.
Julie the American Girl Doll birthday present.   

Yup....now just imagine it on all the counter tops.  

The End  

ummmm.....

Hi!

Right now I am being a very good landscaper and a very bad blogger.  So until blogging can pay the childcare mortgage bills, I am a landscape company owner.

Back as soon as I can.  Lots of stories to tell, and in case I forget to mention,  Queen Ethel has been accepted into the Monarchy and will be coming to you soon from her throne at the theater.

That is assuming she can fit into her costume after consuming way too many Reese's Peanut Butter eggs because she is a landscape company owner and Spring came early.

(Somebody shoot that damn Groundhog already for being wrong.)  Perhaps Ethel needs a good recipe for overnight oats and a kale smoothie instead.

Somebody help me find my Spanx!  On second thought, you might want to fetch me 2 pairs just in case.  

XOXO,
Cara :)

P.S. This is not helping the situation either.

Workin' 9-5

Sometimes the word "work" is a 4 letter word.  One of those bad words that Calla isn't supposed to say at a school.

When you own your own business, you may be able to turn off the light and lock the door, When you own your own business, work out of your home and with your husband, work is never-ending.  Sometimes Dave works so hard, it is pretty cray cray.  And since he isn't a Spring Chicken anymore we decided to get him some help.  A friend of mine mentioned to me earlier last year in a class at the gym that a friend of hers was looking to relocate with his wife to Ft. Collins.  He was a landscaper in a different state working for a company very similar to ours.  Long story short, we hired him, and he starts tomorrow.  (So excited!)

We also hired another guy to work as a general laborer to be a jack of all trades.  He will mow, landscape, and get to be the company pretty boy I send out when someone's sprinkler system is freaking out and he will make everything better.  :)

Truth be told, when you put up an ad on Craig's List you never know what you will get.  I picked through 30 applicants that wanted the job based on the description we posted.  Keep in mind we were hiring a general laborer who knew his head from a hole in the ground.  Hah!  And they had to be willing to work for relatively cheap of course.

We had one guy who applied for the job who had over 20 yrs. of experience as an electrician for the city.  Did I mention I was hiring a landscaper????  Best part was he emailed from Guam.  Wanted me to know there was a significant time difference if we wanted to chat on the phone.  Yes sir, I know where Guam is and I even know how to make red rice so it isn't mushy or crunchy.  But Hafa Adai Dude you are an electrician not a landscaper.

About 6 of the resumes came from the Department of Corrections.  5 of those were from work release, been there done that, and 1 was still locked up?  (Yeah, you figure it out?)    3 of them had their wife or girlfriend email in response to the ad. 1 of those women had an electronic signature at the bottom of the email complete with blinking purple sparkle hearts and the name "Tonya." I have this vision of "Tonya" in my head as being a 47 yr. old cougar biker chick who smokes, wears tight acid washed jeans, high heels, and has a purse with fringe.  Some of them even considered themselves to be landscapers, because they helped their Dad to install some sod about 10 yrs. ago in high school over summer break.

The first guy we interviewed wanted to rework our business to make it his own.  He also wanted a "bennie" package so he could have a 401 K, health insurance, unemployment through the winter, and for us to sign off that he was employed to the mortgage company so he could get a house loan.  Um..Bye Bye. 1st day you work for me, you sign a form for that says I know my job is SEASONAL!

My favorite job candidates though were not just the ones who had really bad grammar, but the ones that responded back to the email in Text language.  Not sure what I am talking about??? Here, let me enlighten you:

Hi i m John.  i saw ur hiring.  I m intrstd in job.  pls call soon so can tlk abt job.  thx.  John

So not kidding.  Gee um, wndr why u rn't getn hired?  LOL! WTF!  See it's fun, but come on.  I can't pull my hair out anymore.  It just doesn't grow back like it used to.

Unfortunately when you just need general laborers Craig's List is pretty much it, unless you put up a print ad on the bulletin board at Whole Foods or the bagel shop or something.  But at least it is done for this season.  Now....we just need the phone to ring so we can get this party started.   Next time I have to hire someone, I am trying this, because why not.  What the Hell.

image via pinterest

LYLAS ur new BFF,  Me:)

Once upon a Pinterest dream

Perhaps you have heard of a little thing called Pinterest?

You can learn all sorts of things from Pinterest.  How to dress with an unlimited budget, make fancy cocktails and find all sorts of junk to recycle and decorate your home with.  It also has unlimited crafts for your bored and whining child to do on a day off from school.  

Step one:

Go to Home Depot with instructions for your 5 yr old in the car beforehand.   "If anyone asks, we are looking for colors to repaint your bedroom."  

Step two:

Enter paint section and proceed to pick out a crap ton of Disney paint chips for free in a rainbow array of colors.  

Step three:

Head home and talk Daddy into doing 95% of the project found on Pinterest for you.  

Exhibit A

An Easter egg garland courtesy of Behr Paint & The Home Depot

One of the things I kept seeing on Pinterest over the Holidays were headboards made out of reclaimed wood.  Every picture I pinned and showed Dave he kept telling me he could make make better.  Since we live on an old dairy farm it only seemed fitting our bed be something different and made out of barn wood.  Free was good.  

So, El Cheepo decided free was good too, and rounded up some old fencing and corrugated metal roofing to make me a bed for Christmas.  He was also excited he didn't have to brave the mall to pick something out either.  

  

(Don't ya just love my excellent i phone picture taking?)  The option to leave the metal off the back of the bed was there and have it be open, but I really wanted to have the metal incorporated somehow.  He even managed to find pieces that still had the hardware holes.  

It is the perfect amount of rustic without saying "Howdy folks, welcome to our Dude Ranch."  Because we don't have a Dude Ranch.  We have a dipshit dingo dog ranch.  

Y'all come back now ya hear?  No seriously...... I just found a new recipe for Sweet Tea on Pinterest.  

XOXO