Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Que Possum?

I hate show and tell. 

I have decided it is yet another thing the teacher can use to judge what kind of parent you are like.  Seriously, I know I am a whack a doodle, and this is yet another reason why I have the utmost respect for teachers and could never be one of them.  Now I know she probably doesn't do this, and I have no idea why I even care, but it is one of those, "well the thought did cross my mind," kind of things.  

Our show and tell is based on whatever letter they happen to be learning how to write that week.  For instance, if the letter is A, and you bring in an apple or an astronaut, my theory would be you must be a healthy / knowledgeable family who eats no preservatives, hormones, or nitrates, and only lets their kids watch PBS and the Discovery Channel.  Most days of the week I usually don't have any trouble finding crap for show and tell.  I try and go above and beyond to be creative.  That way we aren't bringing in a stuffed animal / toy every week, and or we at least have something different from the other kids.  When they learned the letter "C," I figured everyone was bringing in a car.  So Calla brought in coffee.   

Last week was brought to us by the letter "O."  She of course tells me this 10 min. before we have to walk out the door in the morning to go to school, on the day it is due.  Oh yeah.....She forgot.  Well, what the hell am I supposed to dig up for the letter "O" that quick.  Options that ran through my mind.  Orange?  No... everyone will be bringing that.  1/2 an Onion rotting in the fridge?  Too stinky.  An O.B. Tampon?  Yeah... not sure how to explain that one.  That no applicator thing is kind of tricky.  But at least it fit in the bag per the requirements.  I looked down and saw Chui's old Opossum dog toy sitting in the toy bin.  After a lengthly explanation as to how everyone would think she was so smucking fart for telling them it actually started with the letter "O," and not "P," she was convinced.  So off she skipped with an Opossum, oversized looking rat, chewed up dog toy in her bag.  

Lord only knows what the teacher thought.  Because I can never get a straight answer from Calla at the end of the day as to what she did all damn day, or even how things went.  So I am not sure if the teacher actually thought, "how clever," or "My God, I know they said they lived in the country, and were from back East but what's next??? Kudzu for "K," or Moonshine for "M?" 

So there ya go.  Gotta go make dinner before I drag my sorry butt to Ballet this evening.  Hopefully my ass will be able to walk tomorrow.  By the way, just so you know, I did think about making chicken and dumplings. ;) 

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