Saturday, January 7, 2012

The long and winding road

First off I wanted to say WELCOME to any new readers that have come to witness the madness happening here,  and offer a huge THANKS to Kristen Lamb and Ingrid Schaffenburg for pimpin my lil ol' bloggity blog.

Yesterday started off busy.  Since the weather has been somewhat warm, we have been busy with work.  I guess if it isn't going to snow we might as well landscape.  After I picked up the small child named after a large country, I decided it was just too pretty to stay inside, and should make good on some New Years resolutions.  So I hitched up the Dipshit Dingo Dog (aka Rusty or the Twit) to the BOB stroller via the giant mom caribener that is meant to hold shopping bags and tip over the stroller and an extra hot grande mocha at a moments notice when your 2 yr. old decides she wants out NOW, because she has to play with that damn Disney Princess plastic camera 1 million other kids have licked at the checkout line, and headed off down the long and winding road towards the Rockies.

It looks innocent enough, but that hill at the end was a bugger.

He looks innocent enough too, but he is also a bugger.  

After we got home we noticed the "Twat" had some issues literally with her twat.  Poor Mattie looked like she had 2 twats.  I'll spare you the details, and the picture.  So off to the Gyno we went to have the Vet look at her lady bits.

She looks just thrilled doesn't she?

In the meantime, I left Dave and the "Twit" at home, all tuckered out from his jaunt down the road, to deal with getting more then just a pint of blueberries in both the girls for dinner.  So it was just Mattie, her two twats and I all alone and driving in complete peace and quiet.  It was like a girls night out without kids.  Damn!  We should have stopped for Frozen Yogurt or a Mojito.

Anywhoo, we got to the Vet, and she decided Mattie had an abscessed anal sac that is now coming out through the skin.  In other words, she had a boil on her bum.  Lovely.  I am pretty sure I used the word anus and anal more then I ever had in my life yesterday during 6 and 7 pm.  So they whisked her away to the back, gave her a sedative, lucky bitch, shaved her bottom, and squeezed and cleaned her up.  I was never so happy to pay someone to do something in my life.

Meanwhile, in the waiting room I was having 3 conversations at the same time on my phone to keep myself occupied.  It was either the phone or some animal magazine explaining what certain parasites can do to a dog with graphic pictures.   Convo # 1 on FB with Ingrid explaining what I was doing and why we needed to eat tortilla soup.  Convo # 2 also on FB with Sonja trying to help her get rid of her Broncos playoff tickets, and Convo # 3 with Dave at home via text on how many blueberries is too much for a 25 lb. child to consume at once, and how to ripen kiwis like now.

Once we got Mattie home she was still a hot mess, (kind of like me returning home from the hospital after having both kids,) so we threw on a pair of Dave's boxers to keep the carpet, and dog beds clean.  They were perfect because they already had a hole for her tail. ;)

Thanks to the the long run for one and a sedative for the other, both "Twit" and "Twat" slept like a Nyquil commercial last night.

I am happy to report the 2nd twat is looking much better today, and it just looks like a sore.  As for India, well...... what goes in must come out.  Purple.

Happy weekend.  India turns 2 tomorrow, so pictures of that fun filled frosting adventure coming soon.

XOXO, Cara


  1. poor girl....hopefully she feels better :) cute pups!

  2. Ali, Thank you! We love our heelers. We like to say they are overqualified and underemployed. Seeing as I don't have any cattle, horses or sheep for them to herd. Just some locked up chickens. Mattie is feeling much better, and it looks much better.