Stupid Conversations

So over the last week or so it seems like I have had nothing but stupid conversations with people.  Maybe it is because this is a crazy time of year for us, and it is hard trying to do it with 2 kids.  Or my patience is just not what it used to be.  Ok, so maybe I have never been a patient person, but can’t we just pretend  for 5 min. I was before I had a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old.  Let me entertain you with some of the conversations I have had lately.

At the Dentist’s office:

Receptionist: Kayla we are ready for you.

Me: Actually her name is Calla, like the flower. 

Receptionist: Oh how pretty, I had Calla lilies at my wedding.  Ready to go back now Kayla?

At the lake running with the dipshit dingo dog:

Random walker: Oh, what a nice looking dog, may I pet him?  Wow he sure does have huge ears!

Me: Sure. (dragging Rusty over from the lake side who has managed to find part of a dead crab like claw left over by some fisherman or animal and is chomping and crunching  loudly) He won’t bite you, but if you get him wet or feed him after 9 pm he turns into a Gremlin.  Hence the big ears. 

Random walker:  Heh Heh. 

Rusty: chomp chomp crunch crunch. 

Checkout Lady at King Stupids (aka Kroger for those of you in the South) Grocery Store:

Lady: How old is your little girl? She looks like she is about 3.

Me: No, she is only 21 months.

Lady: No, the bigger one.

Me: Um yeah, she’s 5. 

Lady behind me at Target waiting in line to checkout:

Lady: Excuse me, but do mind if I ask you where you got your top, it is really cute? 

Me: Thank you.  I got it on sale at this store in Boulder a while ago.

http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-we-made-too-much/Priiti-Tank?cc=0001&skuId=3417848&catId=women-we-made-too-much

Lady: Why it is just darling, my daughter just found out she was expecting and is feeling really frumpy and chubby right now because she is just starting to show.  I figure if I can get her some cute clothes that show she is pregnant, she might feel better. 

Me: Well….Congratulations to you both.  I am actually done having babies and can’t have anymore, but it looks like my Halloween candy baby is starting to show, so I guess it is back to peas, brown rice, and spray butter next week for me. 

And my personal favorite

Telemarketer calling during dinner:

Her: My name is so and so, and I am with the Energy Coalition and we were wanting to ask some questions about an energy audit at your home blah blah blah, is your Mom or Dad home, so I can talk to them about this?

Me: I am the Mommy, and I live in a 100 yr. old farmhouse that is extremely inefficient.  You are welcome to talk to my husband, but he doesn’t like it when I call him Daddy. 

Dave (from the other room): Who are you talking too?

Me: A lady from the energy blah blah blah wants to speak to my mom or dad.

Dave: Tell them they don’t live here and hang up.