Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Men's Locker Room

Before we get started, this will not be a post about my deceased dog named Isis that my ex boyfriend bought that never lived with him, but always with my parents.  Thank you.  Moving on.

I was feeling a bit crappy about myself the other day.  Now that we aren't working like crazy mad people and things have started to even out as they do every year at this time, I have resumed my daily workouts again.  Whether it is doing a video, heading to a ballet class, or rollerblading at the lake, getting out and doing something for at least 30 min, puts me in a much better mood.  My Mother in Law even told me the other day I looked better.  I still am not convinced seeing as she saw me Tues. after I had not showered for 2 days, had no makeup on, and had jogged 6 mi. a few hours prior.  Gross I know, but we were about to have a pie fight for my Father in Law's birthday, and I kind of didn't see the point.

Yes Virginia I said pie fight.  Doesn't everyone have a pie fight after dinner?

Anyway, I decided to purchase this Isis skyline skort in a pretty turquoise color to motivate me. Buying something, especially on sale, always motivates me.  I got mine locally here in town at a store called Jax Mercantile.   Of course for only $20 Dave :)

So I pulled off the tags and took her for a test run.  Literally.  Little did I realize until it was brought to my attention from someone who lives with me, that I looked like I was attacked by the multicolor pack of highlighters I just bought at Target for Calla's school supplies.  Will have to get back to you as to  why a 1st grader needs highlighters???  Here, I took a picture for y'all.  FYI, much brighter in person.

In case you want to join in on this 80's neon party, the tank in "flash" color is from Lululemon, Champion sports bra in "yellow flash" from where else, Target. Evidently "flash" is a popular highlighter color name this season.  Makes me feel like Speedy Gonzales.  However flash is not to be confused with "volt" from Nike, which happens to be the color of the Women's Olympic Gymanstic Team shoes.  Don't ask how I know this.  Just nod your head and say, umm humm ok whatever.

Back to the skort.  This thing is great!  The shorts didn't ride up when I was working out.  The wide waistband sucks you in and covers the badonkadonk.  There was no chafing, and it has a length somewhere between Amish, and the hooker from the gas station a month ago.  It also repelled the dog hair, and washed up great when India puked on it Monday night.  By the way, the people from ISIS for Women have no idea who the hell I am, didn't pay me to write this, and would probably die if they knew my child puked on my dog hair covered clothes and that is why I like them.  I just figured y'all might like to know I found something I liked.

I love the bright color, and it gets me out of my black bottom only rut.  However, I seriously wished I had on all black yesterday afternoon when I accidentally walked into the Men's locker room at the gym.  If you are a man and you were in the room at 24 Hr. Fitness at the time, I am so sorry.  I had just finished up working out and went into what I thought was the Women's locker room (they are side by side) to wash my hands before I picked up the girls.  I was jamming out with headphones on, not paying any attention what so ever, to an a cappella version of Dick van Dyke sings Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.  (Again don't ask, it was on shuffle.)  I only saw a dude stuffing a backpack into a locker before I realized I wasn't in the Women's locker room Toto.  No banana hammocks like the Men's Synchronized Diving team were spotted, and I about faced and left before anyone realized I was in there.  Some peopled looked at me strangely coming out.  Thank goodness I was done, and I quickly exited the gym in a "flash" of brightness.  Forget the hand washing, a healthy dose of hand sanitizer in the car was just fine.

So the message for the day?  Buy the skort, but if you have issues not paying attention and randomly walk into places where there might be naked men walking around, don't worry it comes in black!


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