Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I'mmmmm Baaaack!

Hi there,  Did ya miss me?   I missed you all.  We have been here recovering from the flu, attending various events and getting our "you know what" together in order to start the Spring work season.  Good times. 

I have decided that I need to make some changes around here.  Some spring cleaning of sorts.  Instead of writing one hella long post once every week or two, I thought I would try shorter posts more often, say 2 or 3 times a week.  This way you can read the blog and then get on with your bad self.   Because Lord knows as we come out of our winter cocoons like Lady Gaga, I am going to have a lot to talk about. 

I thought I should inform you India has decided that today is the day she would like to mark on the calendar as the day she chose to start walking.  Now Calla, she did the take a couple of steps and fall, pick self up take a couple of steps, repeat etc. etc. like I would assume most kids do.  Nope not Wonder Baby.  Homegirl, just picked herself up and walked across the house from room to room with a Whole Foods shopping bag filling it full of crap and dragging it along as she went.  Unassisted.  Um ok......  This kind of freaks me out for obvious reasons.  1. my credit cards are in some serious danger when she gets older and 2. just what else is she storing up ready to burst out with as any given time?  I know if I spend money on that "Your Baby Can Read" dvd then she won't say a word, only to bust out with a sonnet from Shakespeare or something when she is damn good and ready.  Clearly I am not the one in control here. 

I also just realized I never followed up about Little Debbie and Valentines Day.  No, I did not cave and eat a box.  However, why didn't anyone tell me that when your kid has a party at school, it doesn't mean come and enjoy cookies and punch while you sit on your butt and admire how cute each other kids are???  It actually means come and volunteer for 2 hrs with your 1 yr old demon child at various tables involving chocolate frosting, and uber sticky homemade play doh.  I was asked multiple times by children if I had a baby in my tummy.  "Nope, sorry sweethearts, just fat."  I was called Mrs. Lady because for some reason Cara was too hard to remember, and "Mrs. Doiley" is just not as funny to me as it is to a bunch of 4 yr olds.  I broke a stapler.  India ate a glue stick, and managed to destroy an entire roll of scotch tape.  I now understand why all the other mommies sent in their best Martha Stewart sugar cookie hearts with Jolly Ranchers melted in the inside to resemble glass, and were nowhere in sight.  By the way when I asked the kid whose mom made the cookies what she was making out of her play doh I was half expecting her to say some random zoo animal.  No, she was making rum balls and truffles.  Well now...... the birthday party at her house this weekend should be fun.  Needless to say I won't be volunteering again anytime soon.  It just isn't my cup of tea.  Especially when one of the kids taps you on the back and says, "Mrs. Lady...your baby stinks."  Party Over! 

Hasta Manana. 

No comments:

Post a Comment