Mommy what's a vagina? and other things I have learned this week.

So another week down almost and it has not gone without its moments as usual. 

I opened up Calla's backpack last night to find a detailed letter to the parents stating how the little boys in her Pre K class are showing each other their "privates" during recess.  The letter was to assure the parents that they were dealing with the situation, and it was normal for a 4 yr old to be curious and that they would also be educating the children on when it is ok (ie. at the Dr.'s) and not ok to whip it out for all to see at the multi sensory sand and water table during play hour.  Because that would be sensory overload.  Needless to say, I should start cleaning out her backpack right after school, because it would have explained so much.

C: "Mommy what's a vagina?"
Me: "Um, its your punket (Chamorro for vagina) why are you asking?"
C: "Because we are not supposed to show it to anyone at our school."
Me: "Of course you are not, um is someone at school showing you their vagina baby" (note to self .... WTF I thought they were learning about bats and pumpkins and the letter F not the letter V this week???)
C: "No the boys are."
Me: "Sweetie boys don't have a vagina."
C: "I know, because they can't have babies."
Me: "Correct."
C: "What a silly word vaaagiiiiinaaaa, VAgina, VAGINA!"
Me: "Yes baby, that's why we don't call it that.  Just make sure you don't show anyone your punket ok?"
C: "Ok Mommy......vagina..... Hee Hee Hee Hee."

Other things I have learned this week.

*Projectile vomit from the back seat of the car can land in the front seat after one swallows too much flouride treatment at the dentist.  Oh well, I guess it was time to wash the car seats anyway. 

*Mice prefer brown and green play doh, but not the pink.

*On the other hand India will eat any color of play doh, and prefers pink crayons to gnaw on. 

*I am starting to come to terms with the fact I will never fit into any pair of jeans with the words: slim, narrow, skinny, matchstick, toothpick, jegging, or ultra low on the tag.  Designers, please make bootcut and boyfriend popular again because I am being forced to shop in areas where the words on the tag read: control panel, slimming, stretch, ladies, high waist, womens, curvy, and my personal favorite....not your daughter's. 

*Once you stop breastfeeding your boobs will shrink overnight.  Lovely.....

*I am learning how to be patient and control my inner smart ass.  When the lady at Build a Bear asked me what cool names I had in store for my 3rd child since the other 2 were so unique and when it was due (she was guessing Feb.;) instead of throwing a massive hissy fit  I looked her straight in the eye and told her I had my tubes tied after the 2nd and unless Jesus came to visit last night, I was just fat.  Because when you are blunt it has much more of an impact then a tantrum ever would. 

*I now have a personal trainer who kicks my ass so much to the point I can't feel my ass, and had to actually stop taking ballet class on Sat. because I couldn't shut my legs.  She used to be dancer and is making me do things turned in instead of out.  She also promised never to weigh me, or make me do calf raises.  Because Lord knows my calves are big enough already, and I told her when I get weighed my blood pressure goes sky high and it isn't healthy to have your blood pressure that high while working out.  It is good for me I know.  I may not fit into skinny jeans when we are done, but I can assure you I will not look pregnant, and for this my "vagina" will thank me. 

Have a great weekend.  xoxo