Questions Questions and More Questions

Let me start off by stating that I love that I have an inquisitive child.  She is a very perceptive one too.  However, lately she has failed to ask me the questions I can easily answer.  Or lets be real here Google on the phone.  Like "Mommy why is the sky blue?" or  "Mommy how does the chicken lay an egg?"  "Huh Mommy why why why Mommy why why why"  No I get the real doozies and the things that come out of her mouth never cease to amaze me.  Take for example our conversations throughout the course of the day on Friday. 

Calla: Mommy how old are you? Are you 23 or 33?
Me: I'm 33
Calla: Ok, do you look like you did when you were 23?
Me: Um yeah no baby, when I was 23 I had really blond hair and was dancing my tushie off, so I looked really good actually.  I hadn't had 2 kids either and lived on peas, rice and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray and not Little Debbies and Starbucks why?
Calla: Oh....Well that makes sense why your pants don't fit right.

Sometimes they are just statements and not questions

Calla: Mommy, I'm just pretending ok?
Me: Ok, what are you pretending?
Calla: I'm pretending to be Tinkerbell.
Me: Very good baby can I pretend to be someone too?
Calla: Like who Mommy?
Me: Well I was thinking I could pretend to be Kim Kardashian today, and maybe I will be pretend to be Brooke Burke tomorrow.  Daddy would like that wouldn't he?
Calla:  Actually Mommy..... I was thinking you could be the mean old ugly witch who chases me around. 
Me: Um Gee Thanks
Calla:  Well Mommy if you chased me around maybe you could get some exercise too. 

Then there are the ones I am not ready to answer yet

Calla: Mommy?
Me: Yes Calla?
Calla: Why do you have a string hanging down in between your legs?
Me: Because.
Calla: Because why?
Me: Because.
Calla: Because why?
Me: For the love because I have to.
Calla: Mommy?
Me: What?
Calla: Can I have a string in between my legs too?
Me: No! Now can I please use the bathroom in peace? 
Calla: Oh, alright!

Then there are the questions that are just way too much for a 4 yr old brain to handle, so I just make up the answers. 

Let me set the scene:  Driving to school in the morning.  NPR on the radio.  India: crying in her car seat bucket thingy, Calla: peacefully reading a book, Me: zoning out the world and India's crying.  Attempting not to get pulled over by the State Patrol as I try and get Calla to school before circle time.  Cause God forbid, ya can't be late to circle time.

Calla:  Mommy what's a pedophile?
Me: Excuse me what did you just ask?
Calla:  I said what's a pedophile?
Me: Yeah I heard you.  Um, where did you hear that word baby?
Calla: On the radio just now, the man was asking if the pedophile was at church.  We went to church for Easter, were there pedophiles there?
Me: (Internally dying and thinking now "great I can't tell her what a pedophile is, WTF am I supposed to say?"  Nor can I say yes to the church question either because next time we go to church she will ask everyone if they are pedophiles.  By the way, thank you very much wholesome educational NPR)
Me:  Well.....let me see how do I answer this.....I know, a pedophile is someone who paints and files toenails at a spa. 
Calla:  Oh, ok.  So yeah they wouldn't be at church that would be silly.  You don't get your toes painted at church. 
Me: That's right.  How about we listen to something else on the radio this morning.
Calla:  You mean like those goofy guys John Jay and Rich?
Me: Um no, I was thinking something milder like KBCO.
Calla: How about the Jesus Loves Me cd Rachie sent us. 
Me: Sold!!!!!!

I might just have a heart attck by the time she is 12 if this keeps up.  Hope y'all have a week filled without questions!!!!

XOXO, Cara:)