Adventures in Shopping

As I write this I have a little friend in my lap.  She has decided to be a total pain in the ass today. We don't want to be put down, we don't want to be in the front pack, and we sure as hell don't want to sit in the stinkin bucket called a carseat.  I am getting really good at typing one handed, doing a landscaping plant design, and breastfeeding all at the same time. Not to mention getting a great arm workout lugging around a 10 lb chunk 12 hrs a day.  On the plus side we are all getting a little bit more sleep at night.

 I have officially become that mom.  You know the one with a screaming toddler and newborn in a department store that everyone is looking at and taking pity on.  I never wanted to be that mom, but you know some things just are inevitable.  For example, let me explain my experience last week.  

I figured it would be fun to take Calla on a field trip.  So last week, we packed up all of the crap needed for an outing for 2 children and headed down to the Butterfly Pavillion.  After stopping for Nuggets at Old McDonalds, gas and napkins at the gas station for the the car and the orange drink spilled all over the floor of the backseat, and 2 fake out "Mommy I have to poop" stops we finally made it.   When we got there we noticed about 1/2 of all of the school children in Denver were visting at the same time. The Estes Park Senior Center was there on a field trip too.  Their short bus was clearly labeled and parked behind all of the many long busses.  Needless to say it was a wee bit crowded with screaming children waiting in line to touch a tarantula who hadn't had their ADD meds for the day, and grumpy old people who were pissed off that they were there with a couple hundred screaming children who hadn't had their ADD meds.

So after we decided we had had enough, we packed it up and headed next door to the Shane Co. so I could get my jewelry cleaned and checked out.  All was well till I caught Calla licking the glass cases filled with jewelry.  She claimed she was just looking at all of the pretty stuff, and said she could help by cleaning the cases with the antibacterial wet wipe I gave her for her hands after we left the Butterfly Pavillion.  By the time the guy came out with my clean jewelry the cases were smeared to high heaven.  We left quickly after that. 

Now what I should have done was put everyone in the car and head home.  No, of course not.  That wouldn't be like me.  We schlepped it over to the mall next.  But hey look at it on the bright side, I did have enough sense not to push it and go to The Rack to try on shoes, and dig for some jeans.

It was at the mall my sweet preschooler turned into one of those children.  At the Coach store she rearranged all of the handbags and wallets at her level.    At J Crew she removed all of the flip flops from the bottom display and lined up all 10 pairs in a row on the floor while I looked through the sale rack.  She attempted to poop again at Pottery Barn Kids, Gap Kids and Crate and Barrel.  I did finally get some pee out of her at Williams Sonoma.  Just when I thought I was in the clear, India decided she would poop after 4 days in the next store.  This time in the Pottery Barn.  They did have a bathroom, but no changing table.  Good thing the countertop was pretty big.  At this point I was so done and fried.  All we needed was a bow from Dillards for Calla's hair  (the whole point of going to the mall by the way) and we were out of there.  So we trekked down to Dillards bypassing the Disney store on purpose and found the kids department.  We quickly grabbed the bow and went over to the bra department so I could look at the new Spanx and pay for the bow on the way out.  Next thing I knew Calla had on a size DD leopard print bra over her clothes and was asking for help to snap it in the back.  I offically lost it.  I threw the bra on the closest table and grabbed my two screaming children and left. It wasn't until we were back at Nordstroms on the other side of the mall ready to head out to the parking lot, did I notice the bow buried in the stroller not paid for.  Now what do you think I did?  Head back with the two fussy children to Dillards and pay $7.00 for the stupid bow?  HELL NO!!!!  I got out of there as quickly as possible and went home.  For the love, that was exhausting.  I guess my days of taking 2 children by myself shopping at the mall are over. 

Calla however did draw a really good picture of her Daddy on her easel when we got home.   She did such a good job and even gave him a brown beard and belly button.  Look at what else she gave him:

Lucky mommy!  Perhaps it is time for Dave to start showering with the door closed.  :)

Peace :)